From the Ashes
by newyork24-7
Summary: Every so often good can come from bad, and the end of something can mean the start of something new. Last chapter now up.
1. Chapter 1

**Since I now have three first chapters of stories sitting on the Doc Manager, I decided it was time to actually start one of them. This story will probably not be as regularly updated as TOU, although the second chapter is all but finished so it shouldn't be long.**

**The next chapter will be M rated though, so I suggest if you want to keep reading either to alert it or change the filter settings to find it :)**

**I don't own the characters, hope you enjoy :)**

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><p>Stepping into the hallway that night, Jackie somewhat reluctantly peeled her jacket off. In all honesty she didn't want to be here, her own home and she felt uncomfortable and on edge and she realised sadly that as much as work felt like an extended torture session about now, she'd still rather be there than here.<p>

The floorboards creaked and she slowly lifted her head to see Brian standing in the doorway to the living room, watching her almost warily. "We really do need to talk," he told her quietly.

"I know," she whispered after a long silence. Her eyes met his, her tone weary as she asked. "But does it really have to be tonight though? I'm tired and this case really took it out of me."

"Ah yes." he remarked surprisingly bitterly, "my wife the bomb disposal expert."

Her eyes closed as she shook her head, her hands running through her hair. "Don't be like that, you know what this job is like, we don't always have a choice."

"You had a choice," he snarled.

"I couldn't just turn and walk away from it, I'm sorry I put you through that but you have to accept that this is my job."

Brian shook his head. "I don't think we should have this conversation in the hallway." He inclined his head towards the living room and she slowly trailed after him, feeling the walls close in on her when he shut the door firmly behind her as she stepped into the room. He folded his arms as he looked at her. "This doesn't have to be your job, you know that."

"I don't want to leave everything I've worked for behind," she told him.

"But you're miserable!" he yelled, looking at her as though she was some stranger standing in front of him rather than his wife. "You…you can barely drag yourself out of bed in the morning."

"I know the last few weeks have been difficult-"

"That's a fucking understatement!"

She finally saw red, snapping angrily. "Well you haven't exactly helped the situation."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"When I needed you, where were you?"

Brian looked at her blankly. "I don't understand."

"Michael's funeral," she forced out, her eyes stinging with tears just at the thought if him, of what had happened. It was still all so raw, so bloody painful.

"I had to work."

Jackie laughed humourlessly. "So it's alright for you to abandon me, your wife, for work, but God forbid if I do anything above the line of duty."

"That's not the point I'm making, my point is that we're supposed to be building a life together and we can't do that if I'm in London and you're up here."

Staring at him, Jackie wanted to scream at him, he wasn't listening to her, the man who was meant to stand by her through the good times and the bad and he simply didn't seem to grasp how she felt. "I'm not going to London," she finally replied firmly. "You never even mentioned that as a possibility when we got married and I'm not giving up everything for a desk job and to play the doting wife," she spat furiously.

"Realistically if we want to have children then sooner or later you were going to have to walk away anyway."

Jackie's eyes widened. "Children?" she echoed. "You can't support me when I've lost one of the people I was closest to, couldn't tear yourself away from your desk when I asked you to and yet you think I'm going to suddenly agree to starting a family with you, are you insane?"

His jaw twitched in barely suppressed rage. "This was what we wanted, a family."

"Yes but I also wanted a husband who'd stand by me and I haven't seen you do too much of that, especially recently."

"It'll be different when we get away from here."

"You're not listening," she groaned, her hand going to her forehead as she frowned in frustration.

"It will be a fresh start for us," he insisted. "What we need."

"We've been married for less than a year and already we need a fresh start," she remarked sadly. "Doesn't exactly bode well for us, does it?"

"A lot's happened," he argued.

"And we should be able to get through that regardless of where we live," she countered. "And instead we're…we're sinking."

"Look there isn't anything for us here anymore. All my career options are in London and you've already said you hate this Burke character, that you don't want to work with him, this will work," he insisted.

"I think given the circumstances that I might have been a bit hasty in judging Burke," she admitted almost reluctantly. "He's not that bad, and anyway I don't want to leave my friends, my family."

"The family and friends that you're too busy to actually see," Brian replied blandly.

"I don't want to leave my job either. I won't be happy sitting at a desk all day, Brian and I don't see why your career should be given precedence over mine."

"Jackie…" he finally got out between tightly clenched teeth. "I'm not staying here, the Met have offered me the Deputy Assistant Commissioner position and I don't intend to turn them down."

She swallowed heavily against the lump in her throat. "Then there isn't anything else to say, is there?"

His eyes widened as he realised what she was saying, he stepped closer to her and wrapped his hands around her forearms. "It doesn't have to be like this," he told her hoarsely. "We could try long distance for a while, until, until…" he trailed off, the words 'until you see sense' left hanging in the air.

Jackie shook her head. "What would be the point?" she whispered. "Once you get down there you're not going to want to come back up, and I'm not going to change my mind, so what's the point?"

"So this is it?" he asked disbelievingly.

Nodding slowly, almost painfully, she choked out, "I don't think it's meant to be this hard and I don't see the point in us struggling along and just delaying the inevitable."

He tried to cup her cheek and she pulled away, unable to bear it. She'd meant her vows when they'd married but in reality they didn't seem to have realised any of them, couldn't seem to compromise on the smallest of things, never mind something so huge. Not only that but she wasn't sure she could forgive him his abandonment of her when she'd even overcome her pride to ask him to stay with her after Michael's death. She'd wanted him to hold her close to him and soothe her pain while reassuring her that it would all be fine, even if it wouldn't, and he hadn't done any of that. Instead he'd turned his back, maybe not intentionally, but he certainly hadn't even made the slightest attempt to comfort her; not really.

After a long, terse silence, he finally spoke, "Is this what you really want?"

"I think it's for the best," she replied, knowing she wasn't answering the question, but then she didn't actually want her marriage to end, a foolish part of her had thought, had hoped that this would shock her into fighting for her, for them. It obviously hadn't and it was leaving her more and more convinced that even though she didn't want this it might actually be the right thing for them.

Brian nodded. "Right then, I'll sleep in the spare room tonight and start packing my stuff in the morning, I'm due back in London the day after so if you forward whatever I leave behind once I have a place set up…"

"Ok," she agreed weakly. "I'll do that."

"Once things have settled," he continued, "we can decide what we want to do about this place, whether you want to take over the mortgage or move-" He broke off, rubbing at the back of his neck, his lips pulling into a terse thin line. "I can't do this," he got out after a moment's pause. "Not now." Looking over her one last time, he gave a small, soft sigh. "I take it you'll be away when I get up tomorrow?"

"I'll probably be at work," she confirmed.

"Then I guess this really is it." He stepped away from her and without another word left her standing alone in the living room, listening to the almost patronizing ticking of the clock that someone had given them as a wedding present.

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><p>When she let herself into the flat late the next night, there was no sign of Brian. Slowly walking through her hallway she paused as she saw the folded up slip of paper lying there, his front door key placed neatly on top of it.<p>

Picking it up the note, the key fell to one side clunking against the glass of the table. It was as she expected, short and to the point, no platitudes or expression of regret, simply;

_I'll send you a forwarding address for the rest of my things, _

_Brian._

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry, thirteen words and their marriage was over, dead in the water. Foolishly last night when she'd given him that ultimatum of sorts she'd still secretly hoped that she meant enough to him that he'd choose her over his career. She couldn't believe how wrong she'd been.

The dim light of the hall caught the sparkle of her engagement ring, and it was glinting at her almost mockingly; she couldn't stand it. She pulled both rings off easily - after all she hadn't even worn them that long, and opening one of the small drawers in the cabinet of her living room, shoved them inside.

She felt like she'd failed, and although she didn't want to advertise that fact, she couldn't bring herself to keep on the wedding ring of a man who'd found it almost insultingly easy to walk away from her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Three Weeks Later**

Jackie watched in silence as the man Brian had hired, lifted the last of the boxes. It was obviously one of the lighter ones as he tucked it easily under his arm, asking her, "Is that the last of them?"

"Yeah, it is," she answered quietly.

"Right." He gave a short nod and shot an awkward smile in her direction, his eyes not quite meeting hers as he did so. "Suppose I better get going then, if you could just sigh this first."

Her eyes quickly scanned the document confirming he'd picked the stuff up and taking the proffered pen, leaned over her hall table and signed it before handing it back.

"Ta," he mumbled, tucking it into his shirt pocket and shuffling towards the door, still not meeting her gaze. She didn't blame him, he most likely knew the circumstances, or could at least guess them, so he probably didn't want to get dragged into anything or have her attempt to cry on his shoulder.

She showed him out wordlessly, then shutting the front door she turned and stared into her marital home. She could say one thing for Brian, he hadn't hung around, he'd been in London by the end of week, only days after the conversation that had ended their brief foray into marriage, and now almost every trace of him was gone from the flat, all that remained were some photos.

Strangely enough she'd thought that the place would feel emptier when the last of Brian's stuff had gone, but it didn't. In fact nothing felt any different, it was as though they'd led separate lives anyway, never fully letting them merge into that of a couple, a damning indicative of their marriage.

Absentmindedly she twisted her thumb, running it over the patch of skin where she'd once worn her wedding band. Over the course of the last few weeks she'd notice most people's gazes falling to her hand and then diverting awkwardly away, with none of them actually voicing the obvious question. Even Stuart hadn't broached the subject, simply dropping into conversation that should she need to talk he'd listen.

Only Burke had came close to talking about it, asking her if there was anything he should know about, only to get the slightly cold reply that it was nothing that would affect her work, so no. She was truly trying to warm up to the man, and in many ways things were improving, he was a good cop and although his personal manner was brusque at best, he wasn't cruel or even unpleasant. The problem wasn't even that he wasn't Michael, because if Michael had been promoted, transferred or had even quit then she doubted this would be an issue. It was simply the fact that every time she looked at Burke, she felt that raw tug of grief, that reminder that he was gone and nothing was ever going to bring him back. Despite his sometimes pious and judgemental nature, Michael had been her confidant, her closest friend and occasionally the biggest thorn in her side; his loss was still hard to comprehend at times. It all still seemed so unfair.

Sighing, she picked up the wedding photos that still adorned her sideboard, piling them and any photo that contained Brian in her arms. They had to go, she couldn't look at them, she'd simply end up even more bitter than she already was.

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><p>Robbie watched, eyebrows arching in an expression of bemused concern as he watched Jackie drain her glass of wine. It had been yet another tough case and even he had felt a tug of pain when he'd seen the body they'd fished out of the Clyde, it had just brought back memories that none of them needed to relive, and the fact that it was the second in less than a month was just fate's idea of a cruel joke.<p>

And since it had caused him to dwell on Michael's demise then he didn't really want to focus on how much this case had hurt Jackie. He'd seen for himself how close they'd been and so he knew that this must be like rubbing salt into the wound.

By the end of the case he'd been able to see the weariness in her eyes that now seemed to reappear and haunt them every so often, could almost feel the hurt and anger that was beginning to roll off her. So he'd suggested the pub for a drink, just the two of them since Stuart had plans and Burke didn't socialise, now though he was beginning to wonder if that had been the best idea because if she continued drinking at this rate she'd be in a stupor within an hour.

He watched as she placed the glass back onto the table, heard it clunk against the wood. "Think we should call it a night soon, Brian'll kill me if I have to carry you home," he told her lightly, attempting to make a joke.

Jackie's head jerked up and for the briefest of moments the darkness on her eyes was gone, replaced by a certain levity as she echoed in amused disbelief, "You don't know?"

"Know what?" He asked, her expression making him increasingly uneasy.

She gave a quiet snort of disbelief and held up her left hand, fingers waggling slightly as she told him, "Brian's gone, moved to London. Marriage over," she told him bluntly, her eyes clouding over once more.

Robbie watched as she lowered her hand, staring at her, struck dumb for a few moments. He hated seeing that look in her eyes, she looked almost defeated, over the last six weeks the sparkling defiance had faded from her gaze, and he'd always liked that part of her. Seeing her like this nagged at him, more so than he would ever care to admit aloud and he definitely didn't want to dwell on why he felt like that.

"Suppose we could have another drink then," he mumbled, desperate to try and draw out a bit of the old Jackie out for a while, after all she was still in there, he still got flashes of her from time to time.

She shook her head almost vehemently, snatching her bag from underneath the table, almost stumbling as she got hastily to her feet. "No, I think I should just go," she told him, much to his surprise.

Jackie swallowed heavily as she rushed for the pub doors, she couldn't sit there and drink with him when he very clearly wanted to leave, she knew she wasn't the best company at times recently but his mumbled concession to have another drink with her had stung. She'd seen the pity in his eyes when she'd blurted out the truth about her marriage, and she didn't want that. Even when he'd stood by her side through losing Michael, his eyes had never held that expression and she hadn't been able to stand looking at it.

Rushing outside, she felt the cold sting of light drizzle hit the bare skin of her arms and she shivered, pausing to pull on her jacket, tugging it around her. She heard the pub door creak open and then fall shut with a bang behind her, heard footsteps on the damp ground and turned, knowing that Robbie had followed her.

He stared at her in confusion. "What the Hell was that?"

"Nothing," she muttered, her eyes scanning the busy road desperately for an available taxi.

"That wasn't nothing," he replied. "And since it was enough for you to leave me sitting in there I'd kind of like to know what the fuck brought it on!"

"I don't want you to sit and drink with me out of pity."

"It wasn't pity," he told her lowly.

She shook her head, the words falling out of her mouth before she could stop them, "I can't do this anymore."

He looked at her in surprise, his stomach lurching uncomfortably at the possible meaning behind those words. He'd truly thought that he'd talked her out of quitting, but looking at her now he wasn't quite so sure he'd succeeded. "Can't do what?" He asked quietly.

"This, any of it." She looked at him dazedly as though she wasn't quite sure that she should be saying this out loud, but that didn't seem to be stopping her for once.

Robbie stared at her, he wanted more than he could put into words to fix this for her, to make it right, but he didn't know how. So instead he stepped closer. "What do you mean?"

Jackie shook her head. "It's all such a mess, everything's falling apart. I thought that things were on the up and then Michael…Michael-" She swallowed, unable to get the words out past the lump in her throat. Part of her was aware of the fact that she probably shouldn't be saying all of this to him, but she couldn't help it, he was the closest friend she had at this point in time and he'd been with her every step of the way so far. She just felt so tired and alone, and she hated it, had never felt so downtrodden before and didn't quite know how to react to it, so she continued to blether on. "Now everything's falling apart, work just seems so difficult and my marriage is over, not that it had been going brilliantly anyway but I just…" She shook her head. "Shouldn't be bothering you with this."

He caught her arm as she turned to walk away. "You're not bothering me," he assured her. "We're friends, you're allowed to tell me these things." His fingers looped around her elbow, his face leaning closer to hers. "And anyway I thought we'd already covered just why you can't leave Maryhill, if you did then I'd be shown the door within the inside of a week." When her lips curled into a reluctant smile he allowed himself to let out a light laugh. "It'll get better, Jacks, even if it doesn't feel like it now."

"I'm not sure how it can get much worse to be honest," she told him with a somewhat shaky smile, deciding not to comment on how he'd shortened her name, something he'd never done before.

"Come on, you really do need a drink," he replied.

"I really don't feel like going back in there."

He shrugged. "Ok then, we can go back to mine, I have a bottle of whisky that needs drinking."

Again a ghost of a smile crossed her lips. "I can't promise I'll be the best company."

His arm moved to her back as he turned her around so she faced the road again. "Well if you're not then you can make up for it at another time. So come on, let's find a taxi and get out of here."

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><p>They travelled in silence, albeit a comfortable one. Jackie rested her head against the cool window of the taxi, watching as the drizzling rain turned into a torrent, lashing off the glass. Robbie however watched her, eyes flickering over her he was relieved to see that her earlier tension was slowly beginning to ebb from her body, but even just through the reflection of the window he could see that her eyes were still dark, almost dull. His fingers twitched on the faded fabric of the middle seat that separated them, he itched to reach out, to touch her and comfort her, to do what her husband should have done, eased her pain.<p>

The car slowed, the tyres squelching in the puddles as the driver swung to the side of the pavement. "Four fifty," he told them dully.

Robbie pushed a fiver into his hand. "Keep the change."

The man's ruddy face wrinkled. "Oh cheers," he muttered sarcastically.

He ignored him, following Jackie out of the car and making a bolt for the doors of his building. She reached it before him, although she was already soaked and shivering, they hurriedly headed for his flat and he let them both inside only to find that it was freezing. "Back in a second," he muttered.

Jackie simply nodded, standing awkwardly by his breakfast bar, she was soaked, even through her thin jacket and she didn't want to just plonk her soaking form down onto one of his sofas. Robbie reappeared a moment later with towels in hand, he handed her on as he told her, "Turned the heating on, so it'll be warm in here soon."

She nodded gratefully as she towel dried her dripping hair before shrugging off her jacket, giving another shiver as she did so. Her light blue shirt was now plastered to her skin, her black trousers were also soaked through. Robbie winced on her behalf. "Can lend you a t-shirt and a pair of jogging bottoms if you like?" he offered. "I'll stick your stuff in the dryer but it'll keep you warm and dry in the meantime."

"Think I'll take you up on that," she replied, trying to force her teeth to stop chattering as she spoke.

She followed him to the doorway of his bedroom, watching as he opened a few drawers and pulled out what he was looking for. Handing them to her and grinning he told her, "You know where everything is, so I'll leave you to it while I get changed."

Nodding, she turned, heading into his bathroom - which was surprisingly clean - and pulled off her soaked shirt and trousers. Her fingers hesitated on the clasp of her wringing wet bra, if she was alone she'd have it off in a second, the damp material against her skin was making her itchy after all. But she wasn't alone, on the other hand the stinging coldness of the material had had another effect on that part of her anatomy and she knew that even once she put her t-shirt on that effect would be plainly obvious.

Yanking the offending item off, she balled it up into the material of her shirt and pulled the soft cotton top over her head, deciding that the t-shirt was relatively baggy enough to conceal the fact she was going braless.

Heading back into the kitchen area, she threw the bundle of wet clothes into the dryer and switched it on just as she heard Robbie's footfall on the laminate flooring. She turned, her stomach flip flopping slightly when she saw him looking rumpled in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that needed pulled down. It was a feeling she was used to however, she'd tried in the past to suppress it, but now she accepted it, after all it didn't seem inclined to go away. Looking down at her own attire, she looked back over at him and asked, "Well what do you think?"

He thought she looked cute, his clothing didn't quite drown her but it made her look smaller than usual, that wasn't going to be the best answer though, so instead he replied jokingly, "We'll be seeing that look on the catwalks soon."

She laughed lightly, a sound he'd sorely missed over the last six weeks, as she told him, "I don't think they'll go for the still wet hair though."

Robbie gave a casual shrug as he leaned past her and grabbed the whisky bottle off the countertop along with two glasses. "Stranger things have happened. Come on, I'll pour."

Settling back onto the sofa, with Robbie sitting next to her, she took the proffered glass, sipping at the burning amber liquid and relishing the warm path it trailed down her throat. "I don't care what anyone says, you can always tell the good stuff from the bad."

"Very true," he agreed. "So do you want to talk about it?"

A flicker of pain flashed across her eyes and she stared into her glass as she told him, "It wasn't working, he wanted me to give up my job and move and I was still so angry with him for not being at the funeral." She bit down on her bottom lip. "So I gave him an ultimatum, his career or me, and I didn't come out on top."

"He's an idiot to walk away, Jacks," Robbie was quick to reassure her.

She gave a somewhat bitter smile. "Is he?" she echoed.

"Hell yeah, you'll move on, find someone better."

"There's no guarantee of that, and not all of us are like you and can attract the opposite sex so readily for copious one night stands. Michael never stopped looking for someone to spend his life with and he never found them, did he? And he wanted it, I mean really wanted it."

"And you don't?" Robbie asked, puzzled.

Jackie frowned. "I don't know, I always thought it would be nice but I didn't crave it like he did. I did think I'd got it right with Brian though, it's so bloody ironic that I'm married and yet I feel more alone than I ever have."

At that he put his glass on the table next to hers and shuffled closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "You're not alone," he told her quietly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder and he could feel her tears through the thin cotton of his t-shirt. He turned his head, pressing a kiss to her forehead, fingers running through her hair as he stayed silent and simply held her.

After a few minutes had past, she drew back although she remained in his embrace. Robbie looked into her wounded brown eyes and he saw everything she felt, his thumb brushed gently over a damp tear track that traced down her cheek. He wanted her to know he was there at least, wanted to make her feel something other than grief. Later he'd look back and wonder how he'd went from that to kissing her, but at that moment in time it would have been harder for him not to.

It started off as nothing more than the brush of his lips across hers, although even that sent a spark of awareness down both their spines. His thumb continued to stroke at the soft, wet skin of her cheek as the kiss deepened ever so slightly, her mouth moving against his as her fingers moved tangle into the short, almost spiky strands of his hair. His mouth opened under hers and the kiss changed from a tentative, comforting one to one of almost uncontrolled passion as their tongues met.

Moving his hands to her waist, shifting her legs up onto the sofa so she was stretched across his sofa, he lowered her backwards, leaning over her, his hips pressing against hers. His mouth trailed down to her neck and she moaned, his name escaping from her lips in a breathless sigh when he found a particularly sensitive spot. His tongue flickered against her pulse point, and she could feel him smile against her skin when she let out a small noise of pleasure.

She knew that this wasn't a good idea, that she should stop this but she just didn't want to. She wanted the closeness he was offering her, she'd felt so disconnected from everything recently and this was the first time that she felt something real, other than grief. Her fingertips pressed into his shoulders as she pulled him closer to her, hands drifting further down until they were are the hem of his t-shirt, and she yanked it off him impatiently.

She loved the feel of his warm skin under her hands, could feel the heat of him sinking in through the material of the cotton t-shirt she wore. Her breasts tingled, nipples tightening in response and she drew his mouth back to hers, kissing him greedily as her hands moved to toy with the button of his jeans.

Robbie's hands moved to curve around her wrists and he caught them and tugged her silently to her feet, pulling her in the direction of his bedroom. She didn't protest the move, and she felt her heart thudded against her ribs as she felt his rougher hands slide to underneath her t-shirt, caressing the bare skin of her back as he pulled it off her.

He drew back from her, leaning against the door frame as his eyes roamed over her unfettered breasts, cupping one in his hand and brushing his thumb back and forward across her pebbled nipple, watching as her skin began to flush and she pushed closer into him. Impatient for more now, he backed her into the bedroom and she toppled onto the bed the moment the back of her knees collided with it, pulling him down with her.

He kissed across her breasts, toying with her nipples, his hands gliding across her skin and she twisted restlessly in his embrace, the tension building and twisting in her stomach. She couldn't think of anything anymore other than how good it felt, all the darks thoughts she'd had over the past six weeks were gone, now she just didn't want him to stop.

As his mouth moved down her stomach, he started to pull the jogging bottoms from her, dispensing with her underwear as he did so, and she lifted her hips to facilitate the movement before kicking the clothing off the bed.

Robbie sat back from her, grabbing her ankle and lifting it, kissing from her calf to her inner thigh. Her breath caught as his tongue flickered against her now hypersensitive skin and the thought of him moving that tiny bit higher, but instead he switched legs, starting the process again.

By the time he reached the top of her thighs again she was desperate, she felt his breath against her and moaned. Firm hands shifted her legs, pushing them apart as he settled between them, and then his mouth was on her and she cried out as he expertly toyed with her, his tongue hot and insistent against her. Her body writhed on sheets that smelt like him, a thin sheen of sweat now covering her body as one hand tangled into the covers next to her and the other pressed against his head.

His hands slid up her stomach and he covered her breasts with them, continuing to tease them as his mouth continued to move against her.

Jackie felt her muscles start to twitch and part of her was surprised that she was so close to the edge so soon, after all as much as she enjoyed sex it usually took longer for her to get to this point. Then his tongue hit her from a slightly different angle and she was gasping, then screaming as the pleasure washed over her, her neck arching, fingers gripping the bed sheets until her knuckles were turning white.

As she came down from her high, Jackie tried to catch her breath and as Robbie began to kiss his way back up her stomach, peppering her skin with kisses his fingers deftly undid the button and zip to his own jeans.

She drew his mouth back to hers and she pulled her heel up to his hips, starting to push the denim down off his hips.

His mouth staying on hers, he balanced his weight on one arm as he hurriedly used the other to push the jeans and boxers off. She wrapped her legs around his waist, fingers curling around his neck as she felt his length nudge at her entrance.

He reached out, fumbling in the bedside drawer for a brief moment before pulling out a condom. She took it from him, hastily tearing it open and rolling it over him and he groaned as he felt her hands on him.

Pushing forwards, his eyes met hers and his forehead fell to hers as he slid into her, groaning her name at the feel of her enclosing him.

Her mouth nudged his, her breathing deepening as he began to move.

They were wrapped around each other, rocking together, damp skin sticking slightly, fingers exploring the others skin, finding all the spots that made them gasp and moan.

His fingers slid between them, teasing, and her hips jerked in response. She gasped his name as she fell apart again in a series of powerful contractions.

Hips jerking, he groaned harshly as he followed her over the edge, feeling as though spots were flashing across his vision. He panted heavily, his mouth lowering to kiss Jackie lightly as she slowly unfurled her arms and legs from around him. She returned the kiss, fingers tracing along the solid edge of Robbie's jaw as she did so.

Slowly he pulled away from her, leaving the bed for a few minutes. Jackie watched him go and sat up slowly, pulling the covers over herself as she did so, her eyes scanning the darkened room for her clothes.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she tried to gather in her muddled thoughts, her hand shaking ever so slightly as she ran it through her hair. Hearing the floorboards creak slightly, she looked over to the door to see Robbie making his way back to the bed. He looked at her almost warily before shifting himself back onto the mattress again. Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her wordlessly back into him.

After a moment, she felt herself relax and shutting her eyes she pressed her cheek into his forearm and for the first time since Michael died she felt herself drift into an easy sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Jackie's eyes shot open and she took in a couple of deep gasping breaths, her heart racing as she tried to clear her mind of the nightmare she'd just had, her eyes slowly begining to adjust to the still pitch dark room. The dream had of course revolved around Michael again, around the fact she hadn't answered that last phone call, that thought haunted her, she was sure it always would.

She felt Robbie's arms wrap back around her waist and she shifted, turning into the embrace, her head lowering to his chest. "Bad dream?" he asked quietly.

"Mmm," she mumbled. "I keep seeing his face, and I keep thinking about the call from him that I missed."

He kissed her forehead. "Not your fault, Kennedy was determined and from the evidence even Michael hadn't figured out he was still alive. So I don't think that it would ever have made a difference."

"But I'll never know for sure."

His fingers brushed against her bare shoulder, there was no right answer to that question and so he simply held her closer.

Jackie tilted her head up and this time she was the one to initiate the kiss, her mouth moving slowly against his. She knew what she was doing was a bad idea, but she didn't care, he made her feel better and made her forget all the pain and regret, even if it was only for a little while; she needed that.

This time was slower, without the urgency or desperation that had surrounded them only a few hours before. His hands seemed to explore every inch of her and she returned the favour. When his lips weren't pressed against her skin then they were on hers and she decided she'd never grow tired of kissing him.

His moans of pleasure echoed in her ears, fingers gripping her thigh, lifting it to around his waist. Her gaze met his for the briefest of seconds before he pushed slowly into her and her eyes closed, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of him filling her.

He rocked against her, his movements slow and measured, drawing out the moment between them.

Her fingers tightened into his shoulders, as the unhurried, nudging motion caused the pressure in her lower stomach to build and tighten, slowly but surely.

She arched her hips against his, her hand slipping to his ass, a silent plea for him to go faster. She was already panting, her skin sticking to his and yet he refused to speed up, his lips lifting from her collarbone and kissing her again, his tongue touching hers, fingers threading into her hair.

Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire and every breath was punctuated with a sharp gasp, he only had to shift slightly and it sent currents of pleasure shooting down her spine.

"Jackie…" he breathed out her name almost reverently against her cheekbone, he bit back words he suddenly wanted to say to her. Words that were suddenly desperate to come out, words that conveyed feelings he knew he wasn't ready to face in any way shape or form.

Her muscles tightened around him, her gasps grew into sharper cries as the small spasms morphed into convulsions, her mind devoid of all thoughts other than of him as she climaxed.

As she came down from the intense high she'd just experienced, she heard him groan and felt him swell and pulse as he drew her tighter into him and fell over the edge.

In the aftermath they stayed like that, wrapped around each other and trading lazy kisses that belied the emotional turmoil that had originally brought them together like this. Although both remained acutely aware that reality hung over them like a dark cloud.

* * *

><p>It was light when Jackie next woke up, the early morning sun creeping into the room around the edges of the curtains. She turned, realising quickly that she was still in Robbie's embrace. For a moment she just stared at his face, his features relaxed in sleep. She curled her fingers into her palms to stop herself from reaching out and touching his warm skin again.<p>

Last night had been a moment of definite insanity that she shouldn't even so much as entertain anymore. She swallowed heavily, she just hoped that they'd be able to move on from it and stay friends.

Either way she really did want to avoid the awkward morning after talk, it might just be easier of she left now before he woke up. Biting down on her lower lip, she lifted his arm and slowly and carefully wiggled out from his embrace, letting out a heavy sigh of relief when he didn't so much as stir.

She winced when her feet touched the freezing laminate floor. Squinting slightly, she managed to see well enough around the room to locate where her underwear had disappeared to. Pulling them on quickly, she snatched the jogging bottoms and t-shirt from their places on the floor as she all but ran out the room.

It didn't take her long to retrieve her clothes from out the dryer, or to yank them on. Once she was done she called for a taxi, whispering the address into the phone before hanging up and folding the clothes he'd loaned her last night, after all the least she could do was leave them neat.

That was what she was doing when he padded into the living room wearing only his boxers, frowning at her sleepily, he asked, "You leaving?"

Jackie nodded, her throat dry as she croaked out, "Thought that was the best way."

"Right." He slipped past her and poured himself a glass of water, sipping at it he turned to face her. "Should we talk, you know…about what happened last night."

She felt rather than saw her face burn at that statement, she wasn't sure exactly why she was so embarrassed, she just was. "I want to forget about it," she told him hurriedly. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did and I want us to stay friends. I need us to be friends," she amended herself.

"Jacks…" he sighed and rubbed at the back of his head as he fought for the exact right thing to say. "It's gonna take a lot more than a night of sex to stop us from being friends. And stop looking so guilty, you'll make me feel bad."

A ghost of a smile tugged at her lips. "I feel guilty because I'm married."

"Separated if you want to get technical," he corrected her, putting the water glass back down on the counter.

"Only for a few weeks, certainly not long enough for me to justify last night."

"You don't have to justify it," he told her firmly. "The past few weeks have been fucking awful and I think we both needed to forget, at least for a little while."

"It did do that," she told him. Stepping forward slightly, she touched his arm. "So we can go back to how it was?" she asked hopefully.

"Course we can." He pulled her into a hug, trying to ignore how right having her in his arms actually felt. She'd made her feelings clear on the subject and he wasn't entirely sure if he could really face opening that door anyway, he didn't want it backfiring in his face.

She turned her face into his neck and even after all these hours she could still smell the lingering scent of his aftershave. Something she found somewhat comforting in a strange way.

The shrill tone of her mobile phone was what pulled them apart. She glanced down at the caller ID, telling him, "That'll be my taxi, I should go."

Robbie watched her carefully as she took the smallest of steps away from him. "I'll see you at work tomorrow then."

Jackie nodded. "Tomorrow," she murmured.

As she turned to leave, he caught her arm and told her lowly, sincerely, "If you need me, for anything, then you just need to call, ok?"

For a moment, as she took in the barely concealed feeling in his eyes and behind his words, words failed her. Slowly she slid her arm out of his grip and she twisted her hand so that she could squeeze his hand. "I know."

He watched her go and when the door finally fell shut, he leaned against the kitchen counter and let out a heavy sigh as he tried to figure out his muddled thoughts.

* * *

><p>She didn't call him, and he had to say he wasn't surprised, Jackie had never found it easy to ask for help, in fact he didn't think she'd ever asked anyone for help in the entire time he'd known her. And regardless of what they'd said the morning before, Robbie was still somewhat on edge when he went into the office. He didn't want things to be awkward between them, he enjoyed working with her, even including Stuart she was the best partner he'd ever had.<p>

Much to his relief it wasn't awkward, she offered him her usual greeting of a smile over her coffee mug, having arrived earlier than him. Still he couldn't help but notice the tired shadows under her eyes, as if she hadn't slept again and he flashed back to the nightmare she'd had the night she'd spent with him and he wondered if that was re-occurring part of her nights now.

He dropped into his seat across from her. "How come you never make me coffee?" he asked, eyeing her cup jealousy as he stifled a yawn.

She grinned over at him. "Because no-one ever knows what time you're actually going to turn up at."

"I'm not always late."

"Just more often than not."

"Funny."

"I don't think you lot get paid to chat," Burke barked at them both as he walked into the office, shrugging off his jacket and charging into his office, slamming the door behind him.

Robbie rolled his eyes. "I don't think he's a morning person."

Jackie laughed, although it didn't quite meet her eyes. "I'm not entirely sure what time of day does agree with him." She still couldn't help but think of Michael when she saw Burke, couldn't help but remember the difference between the two of them in the morning, or the way she'd slip into Michael's office with her coffee and they'd catch up on anything and everything before anyone else had really arrived. She let out a deep breath and forced herself to look away from the closed blinds, he wasn't in there, that routine was never going to happen again.

Robbie followed her gaze and he knew she was thinking about Michael, on numerous occasions he'd came into find her coming out of his office first thing in the morning. Unlike others in the office though he'd never truly believed that anything had ever happened between them.

After all Michael wasn't like him, if Michael had thought for even a second that Jackie might have been the one for him he would have chased her to the ends of the earth to get her. Of course he still thought Michael had at least thought about Jackie in that context; after all he was a man. In the beginning he'd been slightly jealous of the closeness that the pair of them had shared, after all he did see Jackie as a potential…target was probably closest to the mark, and so he'd watched the interactions between them like a hawk.

Then he and Jackie had fallen into their own friendship, indulging in flirtations that he never saw her indulge in with Mike. The other man hadn't approved and yet she'd never let that spoil either of her friendships, something which had been a testament to her.

Her eyes were back on her computer screen again and so realising the moment of levity they'd shared before Burke had appeared was over, he decided he may as well do some work.

* * *

><p>"What are we doing here?" Jackie asked, her eyes wide as Robbie stopped the car.<p>

He leaned back in the driver seat. "You need this, you need to come here and stop avoiding it," he told her plainly.

Jackie stared at the row of gravestones and shook her head. "I can't," she admitted quietly. "If I go out there then it's real."

Looking at her damp eyes, he couldn't help but feel a tug of guilt, but nonetheless he pushed forward, telling her softly, "Jacks it's real whether you see the grave or not, but maybe going there and talking to him will help."

This time scepticism was evident in her clear gaze. "You know I don't believe in that stuff."

He shrugged. "I think it's worth a try, don't you?"

For a moment she simply stared at him, finally she replied, "I suppose that since I'm already here it would be stupid to try and avoid it anymore."

"Uh huh. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," she answered after another moment of hesitation. "I think I need to do this alone."

"Ok, but I'll be right here if you decide you need me."

Jackie offered him a small smile as she got out of the car and walked slowly towards Michael's grave, her steps slowing as she drew closer.

There was no stone yet, simply a small wooden plaque with his name and date of birth and date of death on it. She stood by the grave and looked down at the inscription, feeling the hear of unshed tears behind her eyes. "I miss you," she told the plaque quietly. "And I'm sorry that I missed that call, I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me."

She tilted her head backwards, staring at the sky and then squeezing her eyes shut she struggled to think of more to say. "I'm no good at this," she finally laughed weakly. "Burke actually seems ok you know…well a bit crabbit at times but apart from that…he's not you though and every time I see him in your office I can't help but compare the two of you. You'll be glad to know that you win every time."

Again she fell silent, and this time she couldn't think of anything else to say. Funnily enough she did feel slightly less guilty for actually standing here, for talking to him. A few more moments of silence and she finally told him - well the ground - "I should probably go, but I'll come back, will even bring you flowers next time…goodbye Michael." She whispered the last part, the words sticking slightly in her throat.

As she stepped back into the car Robbie simply looked at her and reached across, squeezing her hand in a silent message of support. She squeezed it back and turning to him, told him, "Thanks for making me go."


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter takes place in the middle of and at the end of the episode Watertight. If only this had actually happened, lol.**

**Thanks to those who have reviewed so far and I hope you enjoy this next chapter :)**

* * *

><p><strong>4 Weeks Later<strong>

Letting out an irate sigh, Jackie hammered her closed fist off Robbie's front door yet again. She knew he was in there, had seen his lights on as she'd pulled up outside the building, so she had no intention of giving up and just walking away.

She'd seen the look in his eyes at the crime scene, knew him well enough to know that he blamed himself for what had happened to Sadie. For a moment at the scene she'd thought she'd almost gotten through to him, then Burke had blundered in with all the subtlety of a baby elephant. The man might not be as bad as she'd first thought, but his people skills needed some definite improvement.

Another minute of knocking and the side of her hand was beginning to ache, a few more seconds and the door was finally wrenched open, a glaring and definitely drunken Robbie standing in the now open doorway. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Trying to stop you from pissing your career away," she replied, ignoring the near snarl in his tone and pushing against him so that she could slip into the flat. The smell of alcohol and stale cigarette smoke hit her instantly, her nose wrinkling.

"Think it's a bit too late for that," he remarked bitterly.

She shrugged off her jacket, hanging it over one of the coat hooks that lined the short wall that led into the main body of the flat. "I don't think so, depends on what you decide to do next really."

"I let Mo walk free, he was our murderer and I let him walk, and then he killed Sadie." Robbie slumped against his wall. "I may as well have committed the murder myself."

"That's a load of shit," Jackie told him as she moved towards the kitchen counter. Ignoring the way he bristled indignantly she held up the bottle of scotch and asked, "Did you drink out the bottle?"

"No, and what the hell do you mean?"

She calmly poured herself a small glass, and leaned back against the counter, brown eyes surveying him carefully. "I'll admit that you fucked up, that you never should have let McLeish go as soon as you did, but we had a lot of evidence that pointed away from him being Dee's killer, and admittedly even I probably would have let him go, albeit maybe a little later on in the day. Which wouldn't have made any difference."

"Sadie told me that he might have been capable of murder."

"Exactly, might." Jackie sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Robbie…Sadie was telling you what she knew you wanted to hear, she wanted a way out from the lifestyle and you were her ticket out of there."

"I wanted Strachan so badly I just didn't want to see anything else," he muttered as though she hadn't even spoken.

"And as a result you saved 37 young girls from a life of sexual slavery, and stopped countless others from being trafficked in for the exact same reason."

"But I cost a five year old her mother in the process."

Jackie dragged her finger slowly around the rim of the scotch glass. "Sadie knew the risk, knew that she was playing with fire," she replied, her voice taking on a softer tone. "And I know that the evidence points to Mo at the moment, but you know how quickly these things can turn."

He shook his head, running agitated hands through his hair as he snatched the bottle of alcohol from her, glugging down a large mouthful before snapping at her, "We both know that's a load a shit! This has his stench all over it. He murdered Dee, then I let him back out so that he could go out and kill Sadie. He's the only one with a motive for both killings."

"That we know of."

"Cut the crap, Jackie!" He roared at her, causing a flicker of alarm to cross her features. He then shrank back into himself, shaking his head, his voicing dropping to a near whisper, "It was my fault, I ignored the signs and I shouldn't have."

Robbie turned away from her, heading for the sofa and sinking slowly into the cushions, his head in his hands. Placing her drink on the counter, Jackie moved over, sitting down next to him. "You might feel that you made the wrong decision, but don't throw away everything you've worked for before you know all the facts," she told him, her hand reaching out, rubbing gently at his forearm.

"I don't care anymore, Jackie."

"I don't believe that."

"I did want to help her, I did," he insisted. "I wanted to get her out of that life, get that little girl away from Mo."

"And doing that meant taking risks."

He lifted his head to look at her again, his eyes damp and bloodshot, his face lined and strained with guilt and grief, he shook his head, lips pursed, indicating that he just didn't believe her words.

"Oh Robbie," she muttered quietly. "Come here." She moved closer to him and pulled him into a hug, letting him turn his face into her neck, her hands rubbing over his back as she tried to offer him some form of comfort.

"Why do you bother to stick by me?" he mumbled, drawing back ever so slightly so that he could see her face.

"Because even though you make some bloody stupid decisions you're a good man," she told him sincerely. "And you've always been there when I needed you, so why wouldn't I stick by you?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes and it was tinged with sadness and regret. "You're the only person who has, I think you're the only real friend I've got. Plenty of mates, but no-one who'd actually stand by me when push comes to shove."

"Stuart would."

"Maybe, but not in the same way you would. Dunno what I'd do without you."

"You'd survive," she teased, nudging her side with his.

"That's what we do, isn't it? Survive."

"There isn't really any other alternative."

He all but jumped to his feet, suddenly so annoyed and angry again. Angry with himself, for what he'd let his life become. "How the fuck did we get here!" he exclaimed, kicking his coffee table with such ferocity that the glass top broke and the glasses on it toppled onto the floor, amber liquid spilling over his rug.

Jackie jumped back, watching him warily as he looked around the room wildly before his eyes finally landed on hers. "I mean it! How did I get here, my marriage ended, I hardly ever see my son and the only thing I have now is my career and even that's a bloody disaster."

She didn't know what to say to that, he had a point after all, she stood up, feeling strangely angry, although she wasn't entirely sure why. "It doesn't have to always be like this though. The last two at least you can fix…if you want to. You don't have to be alone," she pointed out almost angrily. "If you want to see your son then go see him, if you want to fix your career then do it!"

He stared at her, surprised that she'd taken such a stand against him. Her eyes blazed with barely suppressed fury and he heard the blood roar in his ears, he wanted to scream and shout back in response at the unfairness of it all. His eyes flickered over her, he could see her chest rise and fall as she began to rethink about what she'd just said.

Jackie shook her head. "I'm sorry," she suddenly told him. She shouldn't have said that, he was obviously hurting and needed her support, not her screaming at him. He'd never yelled at her when he was giving her support.

Robbie stepped forward, and before she knew it his mouth crushing against hers, hands roaming over her body, tugging at her clothing as he backed her against the nearest wall.

Her lips parted under his, tongues touching and he gave a groan as he pushed against her, his hand spearing into her hair.

He could feel her breasts crushed against his chest, feel the rapid rise and fall her of breathing. His other hand pressed into the curve of her hip, he loved the fact that she wasn't just straight up and down and the feel of those generous curves under his hands just excited him even more.

His fingers curled into the hem of her t-shirt, yanking it over her head, his mouth falling instantly to her now exposed collarbone, kissing over the swell of her breasts. Impatiently, he expertly unclipped her bra, his mouth instantly covering one nipple while his fingers toyed with the other.

Her head fell back against the wall as she gasped, she reached out, hands fumbling as she pulled at his shirt, trying to open it, pretty sure that at one point she heard a button pop. She was desperate to feel his skin underneath her hand, she didn't even bother to take the material off him, she just wanted to be able to touch him.

Robbie's mouth skirted back up to her neck, and to her mouth, kissing her urgently as they both pulled at the other's trousers, wanted them out the way.

Hers hit the floor first, and the thought that he'd probably had a lot more practice at this kind of urgent, desperate sex, did momentarily cross her mind. Then his joined them, and suddenly all thoughts were gone.

He lifted her up leg, bringing it to his waist as his fingers stroked against her. She moaned, the sound low and desperate in her throat as her hips rolled forward, desperately wanting more from him.

He groaned at her reaction, his hips pressing against hers, his desperation growing as he ground out, "God…Jacks, you drive me insane."

With that he moved his hand, and hands on her hips hitched her up until she'd wrapped both legs securely around his waist. He pressed her back against the wall, pushing inside her impatiently. Her back arched and she moaned, one hand moving to his ass, encouraging him on.

It was fast and frantic, her fingers clutched at the material of his shirt as he pounded into her. He groaned, his pace quickening and she knew he was close. His fingers slipped down, pressing against her, determined to take her over the edge with him.

She cried out his name, her head falling to the side as she struggled to catch her breath, the sensation both too much and not enough at the same time. Then his hips jerked, the resultant thrust hard and insistent and suddenly she was there with him, falling over the edge, shuddering with him.

They didn't pull apart instantly, both too exhausted. Jackie pressed her forehead against the curve of his neck, breathing heavily as she felt his mouth against the top of her head.

She shivered slightly as she unhooked her legs from around him, grateful for his hands holding her steady as her feet landed on the floor. She could feel his eyes on her, watching her, waiting for her reaction to what had just happened. Could see the residual guilt in his eyes over what he still perceived to be his failings despite her words, and the wariness that maybe his reaction to that, to find some comfort in what they'd just done had pushed the bounds of their friendship to far.

He hadn't, but she wasn't entirely sure what to say to him. Finally she asked him, "Do you want me to go?"

His fingers cupped her jaw, stroking her skin gently as he shook his head. "No, stay…please."

Jackie felt relief flood through her. She gave a short nod, telling him softly, "Course I will." She gave a small shiver as she realised that the room was colder than she'd first appreciated.

His arm wrapped around her. "Bed?" he suggested. "It's a lot warmer there."

"In that case the answer is definitely yes," she laughed lightly.

Then his mouth was on hers again as he pulled her towards the bedroom, they stumbled slightly as they refused to part. He tipped her backwards onto the bed, following her onto it and pulling the covers over them, his body angling over hers as he finally drew away from her. " I will fix this," he told her. "I'll make sure that Mo rots for what he did."

Slightly taken apart by the bitterness in his tone, she replied, "You're running away with yourself again. You need to calm down, take a step back from this and just focus on the evidence."

"I've seen the evidence," he groaned in annoyance. "I want to fix this."

"I can understand that, but you don't want to make things worse."

Robbie caught her fingers, which were moving over his now bare shoulders. He could feel his grief and anger start to overwhelm him again and he just wanted to forget, forget how much he'd screwed up. He placed a kiss to the palm of her hand. "Time to stop talking about this," he told her, his lips moving down her wrist.

She let it go, not because he'd told her to, but because she knew that whatever she said wouldn't be taken in by him now, so she'd be wasting her words. She smiled slightly as he shifted over her again, her hands curved around his shoulders and she pushed him onto his back, straddling him.

His hands steadied on her hips and he breathed out her name deeply, almost reverently as she stretched over him, the tips of her nipples brushing against his chest. Her fingers tangled into his hair and she kissed him deeply, until he moaned into her mouth, and again he felt all the anger and disappointment of the day fade away again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He woke to find Jackie sitting on the edge of the bed. She shot him an almost apologetic smile, telling him, "I really do need to go, due back at work in a few hours, need to go get showered and changed."

Robbie propped himself up on one elbow, he didn't actually want her to go but at the same time having her here like this was making him feel more and more confused. So without thinking, he replied, "Probably best you don't stay anyway…considering."

She paused and for a moment he thought he saw her back stiffen, then she turned, shot him an easy smile. "Hmmm, we did say that it was going to be a one off."

"Easy enough to make it a two off," he replied with a casualness that he didn't really feel.

She nodded and he saw her smile falter. "Yeah…I mean it's been a tough couple of weeks and…" she trailed off, running a hand through her hair and shrugged. "It doesn't have to be a big deal."

"Exactly," he muttered.

Leaning down, the covers clutched up to her neck, Jackie picked up Robbie's previously discarded shirt and asked him, "Mind if I wear this through to the living room?"

"Go for it," he replied, a smile tugging at his mouth as he watched her shrug it on, buttoning it up carefully. He liked the warm feeling that spread through his stomach at the sight of her standing in his bedroom wearing nothing but his shirt, a shirt that really only just covered her.

She turned and leaned forward, her lips brushing his cheek in a short, chaste kiss goodbye, as they always had. "See you at work."

He nodded, and watched her head out into his living room, his head falling back against the pillow as he heard the front door open and shut again only a few minutes after. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about Sadie's lifeless eyes.

* * *

><p>Checking her watch again, Jackie tried and failed to listen to Burke rallying the troops, trying to encourage them to support Robbie, to have his back if needed. She sucked her bottom lip in between her bottom lip, she really hadn't thought he'd be late again this morning, he'd seen better when she'd left him in the early hours of the morning.<p>

With a slight start she realised that everyone was shifting, that Burke's talk was over and she sat back in her chair, frustrated at Robbie, at his behaviour.

She heard the door leading from the main corridor open, slamming against the wall, and looked up to see Robbie storming through the door, a face like thunder. He headed straight for the file cabinet, hauling it open wordlessly, glaring at everyone and anyone.

Taking a quick look around and seeing that everyone else was ignoring the situation, Jackie got to her feet and walked briskly over to him. "What are you doing?" she asked lowly.

Robbie glanced over at her, he could see the confusion evident in her eyes, but he had to do this. All he'd been able to see last night was Sadie, he had to make it right, had to put Mo back behind bars, where he should have been all along. "I'm finding Mo."

She shot him a disbelieving look. "No, Robbie what you need to do is keep your head down, leave this to us, you're in enough trouble as it is."

"Can't do that," he replied firmly, and finding the information he was looking for he slammed the file shut and shoved it on top of the cabinet; turned on his heels and left.

Grabbing the discarded folder, Jackie opened it and spotted the address, muttering under her breath she realised in annoyance and dismay that she was going to have to go get Burke for this one.

* * *

><p>"What the hell did you think you were doing!" Jackie yelled, slamming the heavy fire door leading out onto the roof shut behind her.<p>

Robbie shook his head, leaning out over the stone balustrade. "I didn't go there planning to go for him, just wanted to bring him in. Then I saw him and I…I lost it."

"If we hadn't got there then your career would have been finished!"

"I know that!" he yelled back, turning to face her now.

"You obviously didn't listen to a word I said last night," she said, her voice lower, filled with a disappointment that cut him more than her anger ever had, probably ever could.

He stepped closer to her. "I did, but I couldn't just stand back, it was my fault."

"And what? You're determined to make it worse?" She looked at him in exasperation. "You need to stay away from Mo, you need to let us deal with that part of our investigation."

Robbie sighed irritably. "I can't just drop this."

"Well you know what Robbie you're not going to be able to do much if they suspend you," she replied coldly. "I need to go, helping Burke question Mo."

"Course you are," he muttered bitterly.

She swung round. "What," she bit out. "Is that that supposed to mean?"

"Just that it didn't take you long to get your feet back under the table again, did it?" He regretted the words instantly, but he was too angry, too irritated to back down, to apologize.

Jackie's breath caught, and she glared at him. "It's not my fault that you screwed up," she replied, her voice cold, almost brittle.

"No, but then it gives you the chance to shine again, doesn't it? Be the golden girl, just like you were when Mike was in charge."

Her face blanched and her hands shook. "I'm getting on with my job, something you encouraged me to do."

"Didn't think you'd go crawling to Burke though!" He yelled. "You're like bloody best mates. I thought…" he trailed off, glaring at the concrete.

"You thought what?" she pressed, cheeks flushed with indignant anger.

Robbie gave a small shrug, his eyes finally meeting hers, his irritation gone. "Thought that after everything with Mike it would be you and me…you know up against it all."

"It is," she told him quietly. "But Burke is in charge now and we both have to able to work with him. That doesn't mean that I'm suddenly going to start being all pally with him. He's not Michael and he never will be, I know that but I have to try to move on."

"I know…just felt like you were picking him over me," he admitted hurriedly.

"Idiot, I'm trying to save you from yourself, you really are your own worst enemy you know."

He nodded. "Know that too. I just need your help on this one."

"And you have it, but I can't pull you out of this one on my own. So I have to go."

As she turned to leave he caught her arm. "Don't-"

"Don't what?" she asked quietly.

"Go when you're still so annoyed. I'm sorry about what I said just now, and I want you to know that I did listen to you last night…I just didn't want him to go free, didn't want him to slip through the net and know it was my fault."

Her eyes met his. "I understand that," she mumbled quietly. "But it's time to leave it to us, Mo at least." She squeezed his hand reassuringly, telling him, "I'll see you later."

* * *

><p>When she heard the gunshot ring out and saw Robbie fall to the ground, Jackie thought that she'd actually felt her heart stop. It couldn't be happening again, she couldn't be losing someone else. Her mouth was dry as she saw him stumble to his feet, blood running out from underneath his sleeve, she'd been so relieved to see that he wasn't badly injured.<p>

Then he'd wandered into the house, trying to talk Craig Calhoun out of this moment of madness and she'd personally wanted to shake the living daylights out of him. Still he'd talked the young man down, and had somewhat saved the day.

She'd teased him at the ambulance, remarking on how she'd expected more than a scrape, but her heart had still been hammering in her chest.

After interviewing Craig, she'd slipped away, heading for the A&E, where she had no problem flashing them her badge just so she could get through to cubicles to see him.

The moment she stepped through the curtains, his cocky, self assured grin was back on his face. "Couldn't stay away then," he remarked.

Stifling a laugh, Jackie replied, "I thought I'd save you a taxi fare home, seeing as you've turned out to be the hero of the hour."

His eyebrow raised at that. "Burke certainly doesn't seem to think that."

"He's probably already sussed if he praises you then your head'll inflate, and it's big enough as it is."

"Ha bloody ha," Robbie mumbled, as he swung himself off the trolley. "You're just in time though, they've stuck in a few stitches and I'm good to go."

"I always did have impeccable timing," she joked. "So can we go now, or do you want another five minutes to ogle the nurses?"

He grimaced. "You obviously haven't seen who's on tonight, trust me you're much more pleasant to look at."

"Oh such high praise," she murmured. "You know I have half a mind just to leave you here now."

He wrapped the arm that wasn't strapped up around her waist. "You know that you don't mean that."

"Definitely getting there though," she told him.

Robbie simply smiled, shaking his head and clearly not believing a word she said.

As they stepped out into the cold night air, she turned to him and asked concernedly, "You wanting me to help you out your jacket on?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "I've already been shot today, after that hypothermia should be a walk in the park."

Jackie swallowed heavily, trying not to replay the moment he hit the ground in her head again. He caught sight of her expression and asked in concern, "You alright?"

"Fine, just remembering the fact that you're an idiot," she muttered.

"Hang on a minute," he laughed, confused. "A minute ago I was a bloody hero."

"You can be both," she told him firmly.

Shaking his head, his mouth in a confused line, he got into her passengers seat, trying to figure out how he'd pissed her off this time.

It didn't take him long to realise that just maybe heading into a house that contained an unstable man clutching a gun - who'd already shot him once - had caused her to be so short with him. After all she'd already lost one colleague in the line of duty, so he'd most likely hit a sore spot.

As they pulled up outside his building, he asked, "You gonna come up? Could do with the company."

For a moment he thought she was going to turn him down, let him get out the car and then drive away. And to be honest he wouldn't have blamed her if she had. Instead she nodded, lips still drawn into a thin pale line as she clambered out of the car, following him into the building.

The front door fell shut behind them and finally he said, "I feel like I should apologize for going into that house."

"Feel like you should, so you don't actually want to then," she replied, with some dry amusement in her tone.

"Was doin' my job."

"I know." And she did, after all how often had she said the same thing when her family or her husband had mentioned the fact that she'd been hurt. "And I don't want you to apologize for that."

"So what do you want?" he asked, confused.

Jackie shrugged. "I don't know…I'm just glad that you're ok," she told him, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

He stepped closer to her, pulled her into a tight one armed hug, kissing her forehead as he replied, "Take more than one pillock with a gun to get rid of me."

Her arms wrapped around him as she mumbled into his chest, "I don't think that you really get a say in the way you go out."

He drew her back slightly so he could look into her face as he told her firmly, "I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, and unthinkingly, he lowered his head so that his lips brushed hers. The resulting kiss was slow and deep, full of unspoken feelings. Her hands cupped his face, fingertips brushing against every line.

Finally Robbie drew back, whispering, "Bed?"

"I don't know, we said we'd stop this."

"I know, but just for sleep tonight, don't think I'm up for much more."

Another moment of brief hesitation and then she nodded. She changed into one of his t-shirts, and they kissed some more, wrapped tightly around the other until exhaustion took over and they finally fell asleep, both choosing to ignore the subtle but definitive shift in the equilibrium of their relationship.


	5. Chapter 5

Jackie let her fingers trail lazily over Robbie's shoulder, pausing against the slightly puckered, red skin that marked where the bullet had passed through the flesh of his arm a few weeks previously.

He lifted his head from the pillow, he glanced down at the scar and murmured, "Admirin' my badge of honour? Well they do say woman can't resist a flawed man."

A small bubble of laughter escaped her. "God you're so full of it, although I'm not going to argue with you on the flawed part."

"Oh how you wound me," he replied, as he began to pull her over him.

She let out a small squeal as she fell forward, laughing again as she steadied her hands on his chest. "You'll get over it I'm sure."

"Dunno, I'm very sensitive."

"Are you hell!"

Robbie chuckled at the disbelief in her tone, his hands sliding over her skin as he did so.

They didn't talk about the future, or indeed about anything regarding this…relationship was too strong a word. They simply fell into bed when the mood suited them, when work got stressful or just when they wanted to. The latter was much more complicated and less easy to dismiss. Most of the time Robbie was grateful that they didn't feel the need to analyse this, because that would mean he had to face up to his ever growing feelings for her. He'd never enjoyed sex more, and he'd never cared so much for someone he was sleeping with, but then he'd always cared about her, even before they'd taken this particular leap.

Fingers tightening ever so slightly on her waist, he pulled himself into a sitting position, mouth trailing over her jaw as he felt her fingers run almost lazily through his hair. He loved moments like these, when they could just pretend that the outside world and all its problems, their problems, simply didn't exist.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Grumbling, Robbie untangled himself from Jackie and reached for his mobile, answering gruffly, "DI Ross." He listened for a moment, could see Jackie's sleepy, curious gaze on him as he replied, "Uh huh, yeah I'll be right there."

He threw the phone back onto the bedside table and groaned lowly, there was a moment of silence before Jackie asked, "Problem?"

"Got a dead teenager, came off the roof of his school, need to get over there, determine whether it's suicide or if there's been any foul play."

"Oh the joys of being on call," she murmured, watching him as he sat up and began haphazardly picking his clothes off the floor and pulling them on. She arched an eyebrow before commenting, "No wonder you turn up looking like you've just rolled out of bed having slept in your clothes, the way you yank those things on."

He grinned at her. "In case it's escaped your notice DS Reid, I have just rolled out of bed."

"But you definitely didn't sleep in them," she replied easily.

"Now that's true," his grin widened and he looked even more smug than ever.

Laughing under her breath, Jackie sat up, tucking her sheet under her arms she raised herself onto her knees and reached up to straighten his tie and check his collar. It was an action she'd indulged in countless times before, but this time when she looked up at him her hands faltered ever so slightly. He had an expression on his face she'd never seen before and didn't even know how to begin to describe.

She finished her task however - decided it would be more awkward if she didn't - before letting her hands drop. Robbie simply stared at her, as though he were unsure of his next move, finally he told her, "If it looks like foul play I'll call you."

Jackie nodded, she'd already known that of course, it was protocol for the entire team to be called in if it was suspicious, especially when a young person was involved.

Robbie took a step back from the bed, for the briefest of moments there he'd been tempted to lean forward and brush a kiss across her forehead. When she'd sorted his tie and shirt he'd been struck by how right it all felt, normally he would have pulled away from a woman who was trying to neaten him up, especially after they had spent the night together.

It was moments like these that disturbed him slightly, after all this wasn't permanent, wasn't serious, for all that they hadn't discussed their 'relationship' he knew that for certain.

* * *

><p>Standing in the doorway to the small kitchen area attached to their office, Robbie watched as Jackie almost lazily stirred the sugar into the cup of tea she'd just poured out. He was grateful that the office was empty apart from them. Those with families had rushed off home, while others were out chasing leads on various cases, leaving just them and Burke, who had shut himself in his office, leaving them to try and figure out the connection between their two new deaths.<p>

He gave a small cough and she jerked slightly, looking up she shot him a small smile as she told him almost reprovingly, "Don't do that, you made me jump."

"Well I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't be standing in here day-dreaming."

"I wasn't daydreaming," she replied easily. "I was just thinking."

"Pretty much the same thing." His grin turned into a small frown as he pointed out, "You don't take as much sugar as that."

She smiled over at him. "It's those powers of observation that make you such an invaluable detective," she teased. "Anyway it's not for me, taking it into Burke, he looks like he could use some."

"He might not thank you for it."

"Maybe not," she agreed. "But it might help him to realise that none of us blame him. We've both been in his shoes, and pretty recently as well, he feels like if he'd done more, pushed harder to have him put under protection, then Darren might still be alive. Tea's the least we can give him, I doubt he'll accept a pep talk."

"S'ppose," Robbie muttered, he still remained unsure of their new boss, while Jackie had somehow went from hating him, to grudgingly respecting him, and by what he had observed, the feeling appeared to be mutual. Still she had a point, what had happened hadn't been Burke's fault.

She slipped past him, the mug cradled carefully in her hands as she headed towards Burke's office, she paused, knocking once until she heard his tired sigh of , "Come in."

He looked at her, almost disbelievingly as she placed the slightly chipped mug down on his desk, telling him in a tone that bordered on brisk, "Thought you could do with something hot and sweet after today."

Burke gave a short nod. "Aye, I could." He eyed her hopefully. "Don't suppose you put a wee nip in it for me?"

Jackie let out a small burst of laughter. "Sorry, supplies in the kitchen are low."

"Ah well, good thing I keep ma own then," he replied, pulling out a small bottle from his desk drawer.

Her smile didn't fade as she told him, "I'll leave you to it then."

He nodded again, and as she pushed down on the handle of the door, he muttered, "Thanks."

"Just don't get used to it," she replied, before slipping out of his office.

Robbie was perched on the edge of her desk, watching and waiting. "Fancy goin' to the pub?" he asked casually.

"Yeah, why not." She tidied away the clutter on her desk quickly, while he watched, making no effort to clear his own desk, but then he never had.

She slipped her jacket on, felt him move behind her, his hand very nearly resting on the small of her back as they left the desolate CID room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Burke watched his two senior detectives through the window of his office as he sipped at his now spiked tea. He'd always prided himself on the ability to read people, but with them he was stumped. He could read them separately, knew roughly what types they were and how they'd approach a case, but he didn't full understand how they worked so well together.

They shouldn't, that was his first thought. Their style were too different, they both appeared too stubborn to compromise, and yet so far whenever he sent them out together they came up trumps.

He leaned back in his chair, continuing to watch as they got ready to leave. It would have been interesting to really observe their dynamic before Jardine had died, see if that had caused them to work more closely, more in sync. Although he had the feeling they'd always been like this.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he saw how Robbie moved behind her, saw his hand was at the small of her back. He had discounted the possibility that they were sleeping together down to the fact that Jackie was married and that she simply wasn't the type to have a daft affair. But then he was well aware that her marriage was dead in the water, and he wasn't blind.

Still there was nothing concrete, and he didn't like to guess at these things. If they were playing with fire and sleeping together it would all come out eventually. He just hoped he didn't have to interfere in anyway.

* * *

><p>Jackie sipped on her glass of wine, a short silence falling over the small, high table that she and Robbie were sitting at. Placing the glass back on the table she let her finger trace around the rim.<p>

So far they'd discussed the case, they'd laughed over the drunk man who'd randomly started crooning to himself and then they'd simply talked about anything that popped into their head. In short they'd studiously avoided talking about anything that might force them to confront the changes in their friendship.

Finally Jackie could no longer just sit there and she blurted out, "What the hell are we doing, Robbie?"

"Getting drunk," he replied uneasily, knowing full well that wasn't what she meant.

"Robbie…" she sighed tiredly. "You know what I'm talking about. This was meant to be one night, and then it turned into two, now it's bordering on two months, we can't keep this up. Not like this."

His expression was back into that unreadable mask. "Are you saying you want more…like a proper relationship."

A sad smile played about her lips, "Don't worry I'm not trying to force couple hood on you, I just think that this needs to stop…it's not what I want."

He leaned back in his chair, heard it give a creak in protest. "So what do you want?"

She looked up, bit back the words that what she wanted was for the two of them to give things a proper chance, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Robbie didn't do commitment and she'd just ruin the friendship they had if she tried to force it onto him, and it meant far too much to her for her to risk that.

What she wanted was for him to tell her that he could change, that he would change for her. It was foolish of her and she knew that she should know better, but it was so hard , her feelings for him had always confused her and the last two months had only made that confusion grow progressively worse.

She wanted commitment, the chance to have a family if she wanted it, in short she wanted exactly what he couldn't or wouldn't give her, she wasn't sure which one it was. "I don't know," she finally replied. "But this isn't it."

Robbie swallowed heavily against the lump in his throat, in truth part of him had always expected this, it was like an executioners axe hanging over them, and he'd always been waiting on it dropping. He nodded, feeling vaguely sick. "So we go back to being friends then."

"Yeah," she replied hesitantly, disappointed that he hadn't tried to fight for what they had built up in so short a time in any way, shape or form. Disappointed but not surprised.

He nodded, draining the rest of his drink in the one go. "Right then," he muttered.

Jackie stared numbly at her half drank glass of wine before telling him, "I think I should just go. We've got an early start tomorrow."

"We do," he agreed, although he didn't move from his seat.

She got up and after one awkward moment, kissed his cheek as she usually would have done, murmuring, "Goodnight Robbie."

He watched her leave, and for a few more minutes he just sat and stared at the lipstick stain on her wine glass. The only thing that even hinted at the fact she'd been in his life, never mind played such a major role in it.

* * *

><p>Her flat was dark and silent when she walked through the front door; not that she'd expected anything else but it didn't make it any easier to bear. Especially not after the night she'd had.<p>

She hadn't really expected him to stop her from walking away, but that didn't stop it from hurting. It was strange, she'd thought the end of her marriage would be the worst break up she'd experience and yet this was just as painful. In fact if anything it was worse, because when Brian had left it had been an odd numbing sort of pain, this was sharp, almost agonizing.

Looking in the mirror, she winced at her pale features, the bloodshot eyes that were fighting back tears. This was for the best, she told herself. Best for both of them.

They'd move on, he'd go back to shagging every female with a pulse and she'd go back to drifting, trying to find a type of relationship that seemed to consistently elude her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a wee shirt chapter to lead into the next one :)**

* * *

><p>Despite the fact that she felt as though she had a massive rock pressing down on her chest, Jackie was determined to move on. If recent events had taught her anything it was that life was too short, Michael had spent his life at work with half an eye on the perfect family life he truly craved, convinced that he had plenty of time ahead of him. She was determined that wouldn't happen to her.<p>

Unlike Michael however she wasn't entirely sure what she wanted out of a relationship. Well that wasn't strictly true, she wanted commitment, she wanted a man who loved her despite her flaws - and she knew she had plenty - maybe a family in a couple of years, she wasn't sure about that part yet. She and Brian had talked about having a baby, but they'd never taken that final decision, because as much as she wanted commitment from someone, she wanted to be 100% sure about them before she thought about that aspect. Maybe that was why it had never happened with Brian, because on some level she knew his career always came first.

With Robbie it had been different, unlike Brian he'd never made her any promises of anything past sex, in fact even that one had stayed unspoken, but when she was with him he'd made her feel as though he truly cared for her. Looked at her as though she was the only woman he wanted, would ever want. Which of course was probably part of how he managed to get laid so often.

If Jackie had been able to she might have laughed at the irony, she had one man who promised her love and support but didn't deliver on it, and a man who showed her those two things but didn't promise her anything, or probably even feel the former. God she didn't half fuck everything up, especially in this aspect of her life.

Still it was all over now and she had to move on, which was exactly what she was going to do, slowly but surely. The first week after she'd walked away from Robbie she'd simply focussed on work, then came home and stared numbly at the TV, then she saw him, at the station, flirting with a defence lawyer. It was then that she realised that his life hadn't been affected in anyway by what had happened and she had to get past it. After all she couldn't mope forever.

She'd changed her hair, deciding to grow it out and gutted her wardrobe, spending a small fortune on new clothes. In recent years she'd stuck to clothes that were comfortable and practical, but now she swapped her t-shirts and loose trousers for fitted suits, or just clothes that flattered her.

She knew that her new look had been put down to her divorce, but she knew that was only part of it, she was tired of settling for just a career, she wanted more; she deserved more.

And it did get easier; all of it, her separation, the end of her 'affair' and to some extent even accepting that Michael was gone. Time healed as the saying went, she'd always miss him, but she knew he wouldn't want her to live her life in perpetual mourning. As for Robbie she just had to accept that he didn't want her, not in the way she wanted him.

So as she had done for the previous thirty something years of her life, she got on with life.

* * *

><p>Robbie watched as Jackie tapped her fingertips against the printer, waiting for the ancient machine to finally kick into life. He was beginning to wonder if she was trying to torture him, swanning around in all her new outfits, ones that clung to her curves rather than draped over them.<p>

She'd leaned over his desk wearing a deep red shirt the other day and he'd caught a glimpse of her purple lacy bra, much more daring than the plain black or white cotton he'd seen in the past. It didn't help that he knew every minute detail of the breasts that that lace covered; his fingers had itched to reach out and he'd had to curl them into his hand to stop himself.

Her hair was different as well, softer and it framed her face more. Part of him had wondered if she was seeing someone. He'd stopped wondering pretty quickly though when that thought had made him feel like someone had booted him in the chest.

He'd never felt like this, so confused, jealous and irrational. In the beginning his reaction had been almost the same as it was to any other break-up - although that was probably too strong a term here.

He'd went out and got straight back on the proverbial horse - well tried anyway. In all honesty he suddenly found that he no longer really enjoyed the thrill of the chase, that he compared very woman he flirted with to Jackie, and always unfavourably so, meaning it never went beyond that first flirtation.

It had gotten so bad he'd even tried it on with a young blonde defence lawyer with legs up to her armpits, but who he'd normally have avoided like the plague because…well she was a defence lawyer. And she'd without a doubt been interested in him, but when it came to closing the deal, to securing the when and where, he'd stopped himself, unable to carry through.

He didn't know what was wrong with him, he imagined that this was what it was like being some love-struck teenager. All he wanted and all he could think about was Jackie, it was beginning to ruin his love life, because she didn't want him; she'd made that clear.

The printer suddenly whirred into life, spewing out bits of paper. He saw her drop one and bend over to pick it up, he stifled a groan, someone up there fucking hated him.

* * *

><p>The soles of his stiff shoes clicked off the linoleum as he moved swiftly through the building, the painful reminder of the result of his last impromptu visit still somewhat fresh in his mind. It was most likely because of this that he paused at the double doors that would lead into the main office.<p>

A moment later and he was ready and determined to see this through. He pushed the door open and stepped into the room.

Jackie looked up, surprise etched over her features, and he simply couldn't have missed the look of hatred shot his way from Ross. She walked over to him; she looked well, better than well.

Stepping closer to him she asked, "Brian, what are you doing here?"


	7. Chapter 7

Jackie stared at her husband in disbelief, she was actually wondering if perhaps she was seeing things. "Brian, what are you doing here?"

Brian stared at his wife, she looked well, nothing like the exhausted shell she'd been only a few months ago, but then Jackie had always been strong and determined enough to get on with the cards she'd been dealt. He should have known she wouldn't fall apart.

"I need to talk to you," he replied. "I got the papers."

Her eyes widened, in her quest to start again, to move on she'd decided to file for divorce. It had seemed the most reasonable course of action, they hadn't even spoken since he'd left. Now however he was staring at her intently, brown eyes watching her almost warily. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Burke staring at her, his eyebrow raised, looking distinctly annoyed that her personal life was encroaching on working hours.

She turned back to Brian, telling him hurriedly, "Fine, just not here."

"When?" he pressed on insistently, determined.

"After I've finished work. Do you still have a key to the flat?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Will I meet you there then?"

"I think that would be the best idea," she murmured. "But right now I really do need to get back to this. I'll…I'll see you tonight."

He looked into Jackie's clear eyes and knew she meant what she'd said, that they'd talk tonight. And so he nodded before turning on his heel and leaving again, it really wouldn't help his cause if he pissed her off.

As the door fell shut again, Jackie let out a deep sigh and walked back to her desk. She looked over at her boss, telling the older man calmly, "Won't happen again."

"Better not," he grumbled, walking towards his own office.

Jackie sat down at her desk, reaching with slightly shaking fingers for the pile of papers she was looking through, but she could feel Robbie's gaze boring into her. She looked up, and was shocked by the almost blank expression in his gaze.

After a few uncomfortable moments he finally looked away without saying a word, leaving her feeling as though she'd just been doused by a bucket of freezing cold water.

* * *

><p>As Jackie let herself onto her flat later that night, she reflected on how quickly she'd became used to arriving to find the place dark and lifeless again. Tonight however she could hear the strains of music playing, classical, which meant he must have out the radio on as he took all those cd's with him. Not that she'd minded, she wasn't the biggest fan of the stuff anyway.<p>

Hanging up her coat, she walked into her kitchen to find Brian sitting at the table, reading the paper. He looked up when he saw her, closing it over and giving her a small yet genuine smile. "How was your day?" he asked quietly.

She shrugged, it hadn't been the best, Robbie had been short with her all day, snapping at her for no reason, even though up until now their friendship had stayed intact. She simply didn't know what had gotten into him. Not wanting to get into that though she simply replied, "Tiring." They stayed silent for another few moments before she finally asked, "So what is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Us," he told her, his voice wavering ever so slightly as he pressed ahead, "I always thought we'd work things out-"

"You mean you thought I'd come to my senses," she shot back, almost bitterly. Seeing the look on his face that prompted though, she shook her head, muttering, "Sorry, that was uncalled for."

"True though," he replied honestly. "I did think that you'd be the one to make the first move. Then I got the divorce papers," he grinned up at her wryly before his expression became serious again. "Made me realise that I've been an idiot and that you…our marriage is more important to me than my career."

Jackie blinked rapidly at his words, her heart thumping in her chest. She didn't know how to react, these were words she'd longed to hear from him almost four months ago, now they just left her feeling even more confused. "You say that," she finally got out. "But actions speak louder, Brian."

"I know," he nodded sagely. "Which is why I'm here. I want to make it up to you."

"You live in London," she replied, unsure as to why she wasn't happy about this turn of events. It wasn't that she was unhappy, she just felt that she should be more exited by this.

He'd gotten to his feet, moving closer to her, his head bending so that it was closer to hers, his voice low and deep, he replied, "I admit that's a problem, but I've decided that if there's any chance that we could fix this, I'll look to transfer back up as soon as I could. It might take few months though."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course, I love you," he told her firmly.

She closed her eyes, trying to focus her mind. She did love him, but she couldn't help comparing the feelings he provoked in her to the feelings that Robbie brought rushing to the surface. It had been easier to dismiss them beforehand, before they'd slept together. But then he wasn't offering her anything, Brian, her husband, was. Still could she really just go back to him, knowing she'd been involved with someone else, hiding it from him.

Opening her eyes, she met his hopeful gaze. Her voice shook as she admitted, "Before this goes any further I need to tell you something."

"What?" he asked, his hand covering hers.

"I was seeing someone else for a while." She saw his face blanch, felt his hand shake on hers.

His eyes lifted to hers. "Are you still-"

"No, it's been over a few weeks now. It was just sex."

"Who?"

"Does it really matter?" she asked.

"I suppose not," he replied tiredly, taking a small step back from her. "I need time to think."

She understood that, Brian was a proud man, wouldn't like the idea that she'd moved on from him so quickly. "If you want to take back what you said-"

"No…that's not what I'm trying to say. I just need to get my head around it. Think that's what we both need."

"Probably." She stood still as he leaned forward, kissing her cheek awkwardly. "Where are you staying?" she asked.

"The Hilton on Byres Road, if you want to talk to me just call."

Jackie nodded, staying where she was as he finally turned and walked away, the front door falling shut with a resounding echo.

* * *

><p>"So did you speak to Brian last night then?" Stuart asked the next morning as he and Jackie stood in the small kitchen.<p>

"Uh huh," Jackie replied absentmindedly as she continued to stir milk into her coffee.

The younger man sent her an impatient look. "Well what did he say?"

"He doesn't want to get a divorce," she told him calmly, "wants us to try again." It hadn't taken long the night before for Brian to phone her, telling her that regardless of what had happened while they were apart he still wanted to give their marriage another shot. So why the hell wasn't she happy?

"That's great news," Stuart grinned. "Isn't it, Robbie?" He turned to look at the older detective who unbeknownst to Jackie had been standing in the doorway for most of their conversation.

Jackie's spine stiffened, and she turned to see him watching her, a strange expression on his face as he replied coolly, "Yeah, it's about time Sherlock came to his senses."

She didn't answer, couldn't bring herself too, and it didn't matter anyway because Stuart was too busy seeing how happy he was for her that she wouldn't have been able to get a word in edgewise even if she'd tried.

* * *

><p>Robbie watched as Jackie slipped out into the corridor, and checking that no-one was looking at him, he got up and followed her. He caught her by the arm, making her jump slightly before he tugged her into the store cupboard. "What the hell, Robbie?" she exclaimed in irritation.<p>

"Don't go back to him," he blurted out, staring at her, his expression almost panicked, hand still gripping her arm.

She looked at him, surprised by his outburst, for all his faults Robbie had never once told her what she should or shouldn't do. She felt a flare of hope flicker slightly as she asked, "Why not?"

"Because when you needed him the son of a bitch walked away. He doesn't deserve you anymore, not sure he ever did."

Jackie sighed, disappointed. "We're married," she replied quietly. "I should try-"

"No! Fucks sake Jacks, don't do this to yourself."

Anger flared now. "It has nothing to do with you," she hissed.

She tried to pull away and he pulled her back, the words falling from his mouth before he could stop them, "Don't go back to him, I love you."

That did stop her, she stared at him, breathing slightly heavier now. "What?"

"I love you," he told her. "Always have, just never been able to admit it before. So don't go back to him, I know it looks like he's the better man and maybe overall he is, but I won't ever turn my back on you. I won't try and force you to live hundreds of miles away from your friends, or ask you to give up your job. I'll love you even when you're crabbit or yelling at me for doing something daft, I just want a chance."

Jackie stared at him in near disbelief. "Now," she muttered. "You tell me this now!" She was close to shouting now. "Robbie we were together for two months, and you choose now to tell me that you love me!"

"I couldn't say it, not then," he replied. "You were too upset and you kept saying over and over again how it was just sex-"

"That was to stop you from freaking out," she mumbled. "You don't do commitment."

"I could," he was quick to reassure her.

"You're asking me to end my marriage."

"Be honest, it's already over." He stepped closer to her, although he made no move to kiss her which was what she thought he was going to do. Instead he simply stared down in her brown eyes, telling her once more, "I love you, Jackie."

"I need time to think," she replied. "I can't just-"

"I can give you time," he replied, his mouth dry.

Jackie nodded, and when she stepped towards the door this time he made no move to stop her. Letting her go and hoping that she decided to come back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Just the epilogue after this :)**

**Then onto something new, something a bit darker than what I've written before.**

* * *

><p>Jackie pushed her food around her plate with her fork, her heart feeling like it was pounding in her chest. Brian tried to smile at her, although he received nothing in return, in fact she wasn't even looking at him. "Jackie?" he asked softly. "Do you want a glass of wine?"<p>

"No thanks," she replied, covering her glass for a second. She wanted her head clear, she was confused enough as it was without adding more alcohol into the equation.

"I was thinking that we could move," Brian then told her suddenly. "Get a place together that's ours, a proper new start."

It was in that moment Jackie realised that this wasn't right, it might have been a few weeks ago but it wasn't anymore. She'd played with fire and ended up getting burned, she'd always felt more for Robbie than friendship and because she'd indulged she'd fallen in too deep. Maybe if it hadn't happened she might have been able to repair her marriage, but the point was that it had and she couldn't go back anymore.

"Brian," she breathed out softly. He looked up at her, his lips already drawn in a tight line, and she instantly knew that he was aware of what she was about to say; that part of him was expecting it. "This isn't going to work," she whispered, feeling her eyes starting to water.

He sat back in his chair, looking winded as he replied slowly, almost reluctantly, "I know."

"But you just-"

Shrugging, he interrupted her, "I wanted it to work, I do love you, Jackie, and so for as long as you were willing to try then I wasn't about to let you slip through my fingers." Tired, defeated eyes met hers. "This other man…it was Ross, wasn't it?"

For a moment she considered lying, knew that Brian had always hated and distrusted Robbie and that it would be an awful lot like sticking the knife in if she told him. But then she opened her mouth and the words tumbled out regardless. "Yes, it was."

"Bastard," he hissed. His eyes flashing with anger, he gave a bitter laugh. "Well he certainly didn't hang around."

Jackie's eyes narrowed in confusion. "I don't understand…like I told you this wasn't planned."

"Maybe not by you, but I saw the way he looked at you. Why do you think I hated him so much? Always watching you, right at your side, ready to offer his shoulder…" he trailed off in disgust.

"That doesn't really matter though, because nothing did or ever would have happened while we were together," she told him firmly. She rubbed at her temple tiredly. "And if I were you I'd get off that high horse, Brian, after all you were the one who walked away. I gave you a choice."

His chest - which had been puffed out in self righteous anger - deflated somewhat at that, and he looked more than ashamed. "I know," he muttered. "And you have no idea how much I regret that." his fingers tapped almost agitatedly off the desk and he asked, "If I had chosen you then do you think it would've worked out between us?"

"Maybe…" She looked up at his almost agonized face. "But we cant change what's already passed, and it's possible that you would have resented me holding you back."

Brian nodded, he had to admit that that was a distinct possibility, that he would never have truly appreciated what he'd had in Jackie until he'd lost it. "Are you going to go back to him?"

"I don't know," she told him honestly. "Says he wants a chance…"

"Does he deserve one?"

"Hasn't done anything not to," she admitted.

"Well then," he gave a one shouldered shrug, not going any further. Probably loathe to actually advise her if it meant handing her to his nemesis on a platter. He pushed his plate away from himself, telling her, "Probably should go."

Jackie got to her feet, wrapping her arms around her waist as she did so. "You should finish eating-"

He gave her a wry smile. "Lost my appetite somewhat." Leaning forward awkwardly, he kissed her cheek.

"Brian…given what's happened, if you want to change the terms of the divorce…the reason I gave…" Jackie stumbled over her words inelegantly, trying to find the best way to finish her sentence.

"I don't see the need to, why hold up the inevitable," he replied, mercifully cutting short her strained gesture. "Although if you do need me, then all you have to do is call," he told her, his lips pulled thin. "Or if you change your mind…"

She didn't answer, instead she stepped back from him slightly and watched him leave for what felt like the hundredth time, only this time she knew deep down that he wouldn't be back. Her marriage was over, dead as the proverbial doornail, finishing with a whisper rather than a bang.

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><p>Despite the fact that she was back to her single status, Jackie did not rush round to see Robbie. It had seemed wrong somehow to rush into his arms and no doubt his bed when she'd just ended all hope of reigniting her marriage to the man she was supposed to love above all others.<p>

He watched her carefully the next day, his eyes hardly ever leaving her. She knew that Stuart had told him that her marriage was over, and for good this time, and she'd seen the flare of hope in his eyes when he looked at her.

Still he made no move to push her, didn't ask her off her plans, when they worked together they stuck to professional discussions and debates. Put simply he was giving her the space she'd told him she wanted.

And strangely it made her miss him all the more, made her ache for the times he made her laugh, for all their daft, irreverent conversations. Her feelings for him might confuse even her but he was still the closest friend she had.

A few more days and her decision was made, she finally admitted to herself that she did in fact love him, that she'd wanted his words of love and adoration for so long. She just hadn't wanted them at such a complicated time. Still he wouldn't wait forever, she couldn't expect him to, she just had to take a deep breath and finally jump into the fire.

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><p>Robbie downed a glass of scotch, staring mindlessly at the day's sport highlights. It had been six days since he'd asked Jackie to give him a chance and six days since she'd finally ended her disaster of a marriage; and still he waited for her answer, waited to find out whether or not she wanted him.<p>

Pouring himself another glass, he heard his doorbell chime and his heart swooped, it was after eleven, so surely it had to be her; finally about to give him an answer. He drained the glass - for Dutch courage - and got stiffly to his feet, making for the door. Pulling it open he wasn't sure if he was relieved or petrified to find Jackie standing on his doorstep, for once looking slightly unsure of herself. "Can I come in?" she asked him, almost hoarsely.

He stepped to one side, "Of course you can."

She walked into his hallway, pulling off her jacket as she went, her hands shaking slightly as she moved into the living room and placed it over the back of his sofa. Turning to face him, she realised that her mouth appeared to have dried up. "I've thought about what you said…a lot," she admitted.

Robbie stepped forward, his eyes searching her face, trying to decide whether or not this was going to go well for him. "And?" he asked, trying and failing not to sound desperately hopeful.

"And I think you're right, whatever this is between us deserves a chance," she told him, her voice slightly steadier now, as she actually believed what she was saying.

He stepped closer again, his eyes warmer than she'd ever seen them, his hands gripped her arms. "You really mean that?"

Her eyebrow raised ever so slightly. "Have you ever heard me say something that I didn't mean?"

He laughed at that. "No, you're always honest, sometimes horribly so."

Her hand curled around his neck, a small chuckle escaping from her lips as she replied, "I hope your charm extends to better than that last comment."

"You want me to charm you?"

Jackie tilted her head slightly to one side. "I'm not sure, I quite like the you that I already know. Although perhaps a little flattery every now and again won't go amiss."

"I'll keep that in mind." His eyes drifted over her, his ridiculous and smug grin still in place as he surveyed her. "Have I told you how much I love you new look?"

She shook her head, a bemused smile tugging at her lips as she replied, "No, you haven't."

"Well I do. The fitted suits, the skirts, those blouses-" He bit down on his bottom lip as he died off, looking at said blouse, eyes skirting over the curves of her breasts.

"I figured a new look for a new start," she told him, her voice dropping to a near whisper when his finger followed the path of his eyes, tracing over the delicate paleness of the swells.

"A very good thought," he told her, leaning forward and finally kissing her.

As her mouth opened under his, he realised that he hadn't really expressed any sorrow that her marriage had ended. Mind you he did think she was better off out of it, and he was pretty sure that she wouldn't appreciate any false words of condolences, it was probably best then that he kept his mouth shut. Metaphorically at the moment of course.

He undressed her slowly, savouring the feel of her warm, perfect skin underneath his hands as they moved clumsily to the bedroom. He felt the cold air on his back and realised she'd pulled his shirt from him, that her fingertips were now pressed into his shoulders, trying to pull him closer to her.

Her hands were then winding into his hair, kissing him deeply and greedily, moaning into his mouth as caught her breasts in his hands, squeezing them lightly, his thumbs brushing over her already pebbled nipples. Her fingers tightened, back arching as she silently willed him to get rid of her bloody bra.

She smiled against him as his thoughts seemed to travel the same path and his hands moved to her back, stopping just before he went to snap the clasp open. Jackie groaned, pulling away from his mouth to mutter, "Robbie, why have you stopped?"

"Do you know how many times in the last two weeks that you've leaned over my desk and flashed me?" he almost growled at her. "Never had you down for a tease."

"I didn't know…you mean you could see?"

"Uh huh, you have no idea how hard it was not to drag you into the supplies cupboard."

She laughed, her lips brushing his again. "That might have been a tad obvious."

"Wasn't sure I cared at that point," he replied, finally letting his fingers deftly unsnap the clasp to her bra, letting out a satisfied sigh when her cupped her bare breasts in his hands, as his mouth trailed over her collarbone.

After that the remainder of their clothing was dispensed with quickly and carelessly, and somehow they managed to stumble onto the bed together.

Hands slid over skin, reacquainting with the other, seeking out the spots they knew would make them moan. Their skin grew damp, sticking to the others.

By the time Robbie moved over her, she was almost mindless, her back arching, fingers flexing against his shoulder and she cried out as he finally slid into her. His forehead lowered to hers and she kissed him deeply, wrapping her legs around his waist as she did so, encouraging him.

He moved, slowly at first, his mouth lowering to tease her nipples. She felt the knot in her stomach twist and tighten as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

His pace picked up and he nipped at her earlobe, whispering, "Open your eyes."

She forced them open, meeting his momentarily as his fingers moved down to tease her and her mouth opened in a silent scream, her head tilting back as she drew in a choked gasp of air.

Robbie's lips were on her neck now, and her hand curled into the sheet, wrapping it between her fingers in a vice like grip, her hips still moving to met his.

He could feel her inner walls start to pulse around him, knew how close she was. His thrusts had picked up pace, quickly losing all semblance of rhythm as he too drew closer to the edge.

Then she cried out his name, her body shuddering with the intensity of her orgasm, pulling him over that edge with her as her muscles convulsed around him.

After a few long moments had past, he brushed a few damp strands of hair out of her face, lowering his lips to hers, kissing her slowly but deeply enough that she moaned softly into his mouth.

Finally he drew away, falling to the side but shifting slightly so that she could curl into his side. He folded his fingers with hers, as he told her, "I missed you, Jacks."

"I missed you too," she told him, placing a chaste kiss to his shoulder. "So do you think we can make it work?"

"I think we're both far too stubborn to give up," he replied.

Jackie laughed lightly, her eyes already drifting shut. "Very true," she muttered quietly. "We'll just need to find a way then."

He nodded, a satisfied smile on his face as he finally fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**The end of yet another story :)**

**But another one will take it's place soon, the first chapter just needs typed up and polished up a bit.**

**Till then I hope you enjoy this and if you have the time or inclination leave one last review :)**

**This chapter takes place over the period of about 6 months overall.**

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><p>Robbie felt his heart stop when he heard Jackie scream, racing out of the shower, still wrapping a towel he'd grabbed, somewhat haphazardly around his waist. His feet skidded slightly on his wooden floor as he stopped abruptly in the kitchen, slightly confused to see Jackie looking perfectly fine, apart from the fact she had her eyes closed.<p>

"You just scared the shit out of me," he barked out, "What the hell's wrong?"

Her eyes snapped open, and she glared at him, her shaking hand moving to point at the cluttered kitchen surface. "That container of Chinese just shuffled along the counter of it's own volition, _that's_ what's wrong."

"Don't be daft," he snorted, feeling the remainder of his shampoo start to slide down his face. He was wet, cold and wanted back in the damn shower, so stepping forward quickly he grabbed the container to prove his point that all was well, and a mouse darted out from under it, scurrying underneath his cooker in the blink of an eye.

Jackie screamed again, jumping backwards and colliding with a bag of rubbish, sending it careening to the floor. "I told you!" she yelled. "I bloody well told you!"

He shifted slightly on his feet, feeling slightly guilty that he hadn't believed her. "Right, ok," he admitted, "Maybe I do need to clean up a bit."

"A bit!" she hissed. "The place is a fucking tip! I don't understand how you can live like this, there's a glass over there growing penicillin!"

"I'll deal with it," he replied calmly. He'd learned over the last few months that worst thing he could do when she was in this sort of mood was yell back, it just encouraged her.

Apparently this time though calmness was not going to cut it. "I'm going home," she announced suddenly. "And I'm not coming back until you've learn to pick up after yourself!"

"Ah come on, Jacks," he tried to reason with her, "it's not that bad."

"It damn well is!" she replied. Twisting slightly she announced bitterly, "And I've got some sort of gunk on my top." Her nose wrinkled. "I need to shower."

"You can shower here."

Her teeth gritted. "I'm going home," she growled.

She made to storm past him and he caught her arm, pulling her back into his damp chest, he wasn't going to let her leave annoyed or angry. They didn't do that, arguments between them were always resolved before they left the other or before they went to sleep, whatever came first. The past six months had shown them that it didn't do to hold grudges or wait until later to fix things; so he wasn't going to let her walk out on him and certainly not over something so stupid.

Jackie let out a squawk of annoyance, hitting his hand as his arm tighten around her waist, pulling her backwards with him as he muttered in her ear, "Like I said, you can shower here."

"This place is a tip."

"So I'll clean it, after we have a shower"

"We're so not having shower sex," she informed him almost haughtily.

He laughed as tried to undo the buttons of her shirt one-handed. "I'll let you off on this one occasion."

"And I'm not helping you clean either, I'm not a maid."

Robbie nodded, slightly relieved that she was no longer fighting him, made things a lot easier. "Also fine, you can lie in bed and read while I don my pinny."

"You don't own one," she shot back, although he could hear the amusement in her voice now.

Again he laughed. "And I'll check all the rooms for any cracks and fill them with wire wool."

She shuddered. "I really don't want to talk about that."

He dipped his head, running his mouth along the side of her neck and this time Jackie couldn't repress her smile. It would have been foolish to expect everything to go smoothly, but unlike in her other relationships it seemed easier to find ways around the problems. It helped that they could talk about anything, and that they accepted the other's flaws.

Her smile widened when she felt the towel finally lose it's fight against gravity and slip to the floor, giggled when his hands skated up and over her sides, tickling her lightly. Her clothes were soaked through at the back now, so she may as well stay and change into one of his t-shirts, and finish off the book she'd been reading. As for the whole no shower sex stipulation…well he had apologised, kind of.

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><p>She brushed her hand over the stone, brushing away small flecks of dirt and a few damp leaves that the wind had deposited on Michael's headstone. Then kneeling down, she tidied up, removing the dead blooms that she'd left the last time and replacing them.<p>

"You know Burke's not so bad," she told him. "Bit blunt but bearable, sometimes he even verges on likeable. Stuart gets on quite well with him, I sometimes wonder if that's because he can do all the technical stuff that none of us can quite manage, and Robbie," her smile widened, "is close to becoming a changed man, in some respects, although I think you two would still butt heads," she admitted.

She turned slightly, looking over to where Robbie was leaning against a nearby tree, close enough to see her but far enough away that he couldn't hear her. "I know you wouldn't have approved, at least not at first, but he does make me happy. I think that this could actually work this time, I really do love him.

Her eyes flickered up and over the carved words of remembrance. "I still miss you though," she whispered quietly. A small, sad smile played about her features as she added, "I think I always will."

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><p>Burke watched with narrowed eyes as he saw Robbie's hand drift across the small of Jackie's back, standing more than a little closer than was strictly necessary. He let out an annoyed hiss as he saw the younger man lean his head closer to hers, laughing at something she said.<p>

He was going to have to talk to them, he'd put it off long enough, and not only was he sure now, but tongues were beginning to wag. Better he sorted this now rather than later.

Coughing loudly so that there heads jerked up, he told them, "You two, my office now, want a word."

They shared a look of confusion but followed him regardless. He waved at them to sit, which they did, but he remained standing. It was Jackie who spoke first, asking him, "Is there a problem Sir?"

"Possibly," he grumbled, he cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing between the two; he hated this part of his job the most. "I've heard rumours that you two are…involved," he choked out after a painful pause.

Jackie paled slightly, but Robbie's reaction surprised him slightly, the man straightening his shoulders as he asked calmly, "And if we are?"

"Then I need to be sure that it doesn't effect upon your time here at work and the dynamics of the team."

"It doesn't," Robbie replied shortly.

Burke nodded. "So how long have you both been…dating?" He hated that word, but shagging seemed a bit uncouth even for him.

It was Jackie who replied this time, "We've been in a relationship for the last five months." She didn't count the months before as part of that, although they'd meant everything to her.

"Right," Burke looked between them. "So we're going to need a few ground rules then."

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><p>Looking back, Robbie occasionally wondered why he'd been so scared of taking that first step. Now he was with Jackie it felt like everything in his life had fitted together. She made him happier than he thought he could put into words; although there were still times he wanted to strangle her. He could see she felt that way too sometimes, saw it when her eyes narrowed and she pulled her lips into a razor thin line.<p>

The way they had started their relationship was probably not the most conventional, and in most circumstances should have been a recipe for disaster, but it had worked for them.

Her divorce had been finalised the month before, by which point they were already living together, and for once Robbie had decided that marriage was the next step. Not only that, but the more he thought about it, the more he decided that it was what he wanted. He'd never really believed in marriage as a concept before, but he did now. The thought of calling Jackie his wife made him grin like the proverbial loon.

His hand brushed over the engagement ring in his jacket pocket, he kept it on him almost all the time. He hadn't quite decided the best way to propose and he didn't want to risk the perfect moment passing him by.

* * *

><p>"Admiring it again," Robbie laughed proudly as he watched Jackie twist her hand to see the diamond on her new engagement ring shimmer.<p>

"Yes, you have better taste than I'd ever have given you credit for," she told him.

He dug his fingers into her side, until she arched her back, laughing as she tried to pull herself off him, only for him to pull her back. "You don't get away that easily," he murmured into the side of her neck.

Jackie tilted her head back, brown eyes sparkling as she looked into his, whispering, "That better be a promise."

"Definitely."


End file.
